The Grief Cycle

I have been reduced to tears. As a proponent of Karma I wonder, what have I done that has brought this down on me. I sit here with a box of tissues, sobbing uncontrollably, and barely able to type: Yet I push onward, as getting it out is the only way to get rid of it. I have gone through the cycle of grief in the past 7 months. First there was denial. She didn't mean to fire me, she was just angry and she will call me back in tomorrow. Then I was angry. I was absolutely livid that after having worked so hard, and wasted so much of my life, I can be tossed aside as though I were nothing. Next came bargaining; in my pre-sleep wanderings I mulled many possibilities of getting my job back, and what I should do it ensure it. I have now reached depression, and I long for acceptance, since this is possibly the worst part. It has just been compounded by the fact that my former supervisor, whom I called friend once, just blamed me for her lack of response to my emails, and told me in no uncertain terms that she would only give me a phone reference which does me absolutely no good because the last time she did that she screwed me out of a job. So I ask, what is it that I have done in my life to deserve this. I was a good, loyal employee for four years until I was abruptly, and against my will, terminated. What recourse does someone have when they have given away their time, life, and labour to a scum bag who uses people and spits them out. I am driving myself deeper every day, with two bits of knowledge. 1) R's advice was that of someone living vicariously. Everything she told me I should do(this is my mentor and teacher when it comes to being a supervisor) were things that she would SAY she'd do, but then never actually go through with. Were I less naive I would have seen that and not taken her advice. 2) Josh, my mother, my brother, they all told me the same thing, over and over and over: GET OUT! I replied "they are going to make me supervisor" over and over and over. I wasted all that time, because, yeah, I was supervisor, but now I have to tell people in interviews why I moved from supervisor to back down to lead teacher. The only bright side is that at least by telling prospective employers the truth, I won't be hired by any rule-bending a-wads that don't want a stickler in their midst. There is the slim possibility that there is someone out there that is decent and hard working and honest, who would love to have me in their employ. Whom I would love to work for. Where's my rainbow? Forget the end man, I'd just like to catch a glimpse of it. Sadly, this was not as cathartic as I'd hoped, so I shall dull the pain in other ways. Thank you Ego, you are always a good shoulder to cry on.

Beauty

I get lucky sometimes and a picture that is good gets taken. I agree with Geoff, Facebook rapes your photos. This is better.

Hillary Clinton

What is she doing?!?!?! With no hope of winning, she seems to be trying to bring down Barak Obama. The C/T in me thinks it's a republican attack, that she is a party infiltrator trying to at once bring down the one thing most republicans never want to see, as well as sully the democratic party, making them look like in-fighters. Either that or someone paid her a lot of money. Either way.... Yikes.

Moral Orel

How do they get away with this? I thought the right had it all locked up down there. For once I am saying huzzah for freedom of speech!!!


*psst: the title is a link to the show!*

Crazy-go-What?!!?

I maintain that all old people have gone off their rocker. I wonder if we are under biological attack; ruin by insanity. In the last week I have encountered six different people of the elderly persuasion who have behaved in a most irrational manner. Maybe they are sick of youth disrespect and they "ain't takin it no more!" or maybe it's the moon, but it is way overboard this week. Deemed: Worst Week 2008(so far)


Oh yeah...

NEW LOST TONIGHT!!!!!!!

What the

So I have little to say, but feel as though I am neglecting my ego.


Dear Ego,

Lately I have been feeling lazy. Lazy about everything. Josh feels it too. The kitchen is a mess. I finally vacuumed and mopped today, two days late. There is a balcony to sweep, cats to brush, course planning to do, materials to be made, and invitations to boot. Still it seems as though maybe I'm getting quite a bit done. I've actually stuck to the workout routine I've created for myself, and the hall closets are both newly organized. The big windows have been cleaned(twice, to no avail, damn you windows, DAMN YOU!!!!!) I've got a guest list, which I did not have two days ago. I think things are quite balanced, now that I ponder on it. The in box will be full when I die as they say!

Onward Jeeves!
Mandy

Cheaters = Traitors

This whole Elliot Spitzer thing seems to have brought a lot of assholes out of the woodwork. I have run in to a few very disconcerting articles on Digg, related to cheating.

Surviving infidelity

The title of the article itself bothers me. There should be no "surviving" infidelity, beyond that of surviving the aftermath of the breakup that SHOULD ensue. If you feel the need to be unfaithful, then you should leave the person you are with. They are obviously not meeting your needs and it is wrong to betray their trust.

Faithfulness is a Fantasy "Sexual promiscuity is rampant throughout nature, and true faithfulness a fond fantasy" Oy. I thought that what put us on top was our ability to become more than animals. To take nature and manipulate for our own needs. To grow in to something that is not instinctual, but driven by logic and reason. What can I say, other than I am not surprised that when a rich democrat gets caught cheating, suddenly there are a large amount of "It's ok to cheat, it's part of nature" articles popping up everywhere. I am taking my stand here. It is not ok to cheat. It is NEVER ok to cheat. If you cheat, you are a traitor, and should be punished as such. With a vicious ass kicking from the family of the person you cheated on.

Spring has sprung

It smells like the world is warming up. Mmmmmmmmmm

HAPPY ST. PADDY'S!!!!

5.66Gb, 1356 files

My music library is respectable, at least in size, if not quality. This in itself caused an issue, as we were beginning to be limited severely by the size of the hard drive on the old computer (now dubbed "The Bitch") For two years now, my library has grown more slowly, constricted by size issues, and more than 70% of it was not on the pc, and only accessible when the disc it was saved on was in the pc. Now that we have a new computer (dubbed "The Beast") I am super excited, cause there is nothing on The Bitch anymore. No programs except what we need to run it, and so that leaves me with a LOT of room for music. Welcome back Library, and play ye well.

March Break

March break is here, and with it, the beast is born. After a lot of frustration, aggravation, and $50 to the computer guy across the street, the Beast is up and running. Then, after some more aggravation, I have finally connected both of them to the router, and we are off and running!!! Right now, Josh is looking at Digg, while I blog, and life could not be sweeter. I am such a dork. Anyway, hoping to get in some snowboarding these next two weeks, or at the very least some skating. WOO MARCH BREAK!!!!!!!

***************
Paint Your Snow
Add plenty of food colouring to water, and voila, snow paint!
Paint your snow families, forts, paint a picture on the snow!!!!
Just remember, the more food colouring you add,
the stronger your colours will look!
***************

Snow day? NO WAY!

My phone rang at 6.45 am today. I excitedly jumped out of bed, and answered it, expecting to hear those wonderful words; We are closed for a snow day. This is not what I heard. My boss, strangely, called me and told me that we ARE open, and that I should use my best judgment about whether or not to go in. Now, with the exception of the last snow storm we had(a couple days ago) I have never in my life even said "Whoa, this storm is dangerous". The last storm was an exception, simply because of the near freezing temps, and the sheer ice that was forming under the snow on the roadways. Ultimately, if I want to be paid, I must go in. If I want to drive in the snow, and I assure you I do every chance I get; then I must go in. My best judgment tells me going to work today is the right thing to do, especially since it is only 2 more days until MARCH BREAK!!!!!!! *packs snow gear, and heads to work*

Snow me baby!

If this prediction is true, this might be the happiest first day of March Break EVER!!!!!!!!!!!














*****This has been retracted. Damn you Weather Network!!!!*****

Good Bye, Stage6

YEAH ....... Finally they nailed the big guy!!!!!!!!! I was the owner of Moviethis.com and the MPAA kept coming after me for illegal copyright infringement for LINKING to external sites mostly to Stage6 (Which they actually hosted the illegal content)....... I am so freeking happy w00t!!!!!!!!

One thing I do wonder is why they paid an employee to write an internet wide letter to lie about the shutdown..... Losses? They didn't have losses, most of the moderators of the stage6 site were volunteers like you and me. The advertising probably brought in 6-10 grand a day.

Im just glad they got the big guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a response to a question asked at yahoo answers, regarding the shut down of Stage6. I thoroughly dislike the "it happened to me, so it should happen to everyone" attitude, and were I able to speak with the poster personally, I would ream him till next Sunday. I will miss Stage6, whether they are shutting down due to pressure from the MPAA, or because of the reason they are giving; overhead costs. I wonder if this person understands the repercussions of a site being shut down that is as widely known as Stage6, and if he did, would he be so happy? Huzzah, the government is taking over all aspects of our private lives!!! Hurray, the corporations are taking over the government!!! YAY, Big Business will own the world, and we will all be slaves!!!!! Moron.

Snow Make Smart?

I went to visit my brother today, and on the way home I encountered something interesting. I thought that I would be late to pick up Josh, because of a certain section of highway. We have an HOV lane running the 403 from around Winston Churchill to near the 401 connector. Normally, traffic along this part of the highway crawls at drive time, while the HOV lane seems to fly. Today, though, I never came to a stop, and rarely dipped below 60 km/h. Why, I asked myself, did traffic seem to move better in the snow, than on a sunny, dry day? I looked around me and noticed something different. Everyone was leaving space between them and the car in front. This is something that I rarely see, usually having to nose my way in to a lane. Interesting, how when we don't ride each others asses, traffic moves better! The reason for this seems to be the HOV lane itself. People stay in it until their exit is coming up, then jump out, cut three lanes across, and exit. In the snow, this is no problem, as there is usually plenty of room for them to get across. In dry weather, well the asshole in everyone takes over, and we couldn't possibly leave space between the car in front of us, as then someone else might get in there, and then we'd be further behind. Too bad though that drive time traffic today only added five minutes to my drive, simply because fear out weighed ego.

Why Do I?

Why do I got to bed at 9:30? Now I'm awake, at 6:30, and no one else is. I'm bored.

Cats are Dumb

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Addicted to Superbugs

Surprise, Surprise, Oakville has complimentary superbug potion in the mall. Oy Malloy....



Now, I have a thing about antibacterials. Ask any Doctor, Scientist or even Health Inspector, and they will tell you this: Antibacterials are neither necessary, nor healthy. Even time you use this stuff, you are killing off 99% of the bacteria on your hands, right? Stop and think about that for a second. 99%. We have bacteria on our hands that protect our bodies from infectious agents. We have them everywhere. They live on our eyelashes and tongues and even in our digestive systems. We need them. Of course, this is only half the problem. The other side of the coin has people overusing antibacterials and antibiotics, aiding in the creation of what could be the next world plague. Superbugs are not a myth. These infectious little fiends are simply every day bugs which have become immune to the various "Anti's" that we use. One day, we will be the death of ourselves, because we fail to see the long term effects of our foolish meanderings. Long Live Stupidity!!!

This Week in Assholics Anonymous

I suppose because of the places that I frequent, I encounter a lot of dillholes. I live in a community that is comprised of about 80% upper class. It's poop, because they are mostly full of themselves, and tend not to pay attention to the people around them. Unfortunately, even the middle to lower class people behave in this way, more than likely as a type of defense for the over powering arrogance that oozes from the typical Oakville-ite. I went to pick up Josh the other day, for his lunch. I followed a car in to the lot, which stopped in the middle of the lot, while one passenger got out, moved his car, and the first car entered the spot which was vacated. The second car then pulled in to the middle of the parking lot, and the two men continued to have a chat.

All the while I am sitting patiently, waiting for them to move so that I may park in the visitors parking. I couldn't believe that they would continue their conversation with me sitting right there, obviously wanting to get by, as my car is still running, and I'm not parked, I am in fact blocking the cars that ARE parked. The man standing outside the car is an executive at Josh's place of work, a man who typically thinks little of others, and mostly of himself. It's a sad day when you can't even be bothered to pull your car off to the side of the drive way, in order to allow other cars to get by. I give these two first prize for dickish move of the week!

Toronto is Pussy

GTA "Hammered"


Maybe I am less a-feared of snow than most people, but having lived in Canada my whole life I find articles like that to be incredibly amusing.

Click me, I dare ya......

It is 2:30 am, and due to gastro-intestinal dysfunction; I am awake. This sucks, but as a way to get over it, I will blog to my hearts content. I have of late begun watching tv online as there is a plethora of sites where you can see a huge variety of shows. Since I've been working part time, I've been able to keep up with the shows that I usually watch, which are all complete now, as the writers are still striking. This has lead me to some random clicking, in order to find something to entertain my dull mind. I have recently come upon a show called Traveler that was only 8 episodes long. It seemed like a good show, gripping, good story, well acted and written. So why only 8 episodes? Well, let me tell you a bit about the show. It features two grad students, who are on the run from the FBI, after being framed for the bombing of the fictional "Drexler Museum" in New York. They were seemingly set up by their friend "Will Traveler" who turns out not to be a fellow student, but an agent in a covert operation, called "Project Hometown". This is where it got interesting. The main character "Jay" made a glib comment near the beginning of the show that should they catch him, he'd be sent straight to Guantanamo. Project Hometown was being run by the former head of the FBI, who is now the new head of Homeland Security. It's worth watching, even though it is completely unfinished and they have given up hopes of revival. Now, I watch lots of shows that have been canceled unduly i.e. Wonderfalls,Tru Calling,Carnivale, Firefly and never have I seen anyone give up so quickly on their show. The director posted an answers blog explaining the different groups that were alluded to during the course of the eight episodes, effectively ending any ideas that there would be a revival. The conspiracist in me can't help but wonder if this shows canceling was due more to it's subject matter than lack of interest. I've linked the title of this post to the shows page at surfthechannel. Have a gander if you have the time. I think it's worth it.