Tuesday, October 28, 2003: My Friend

Ever sit just outside the circle? Just beyond the ring of light. A little bit past the safety zone. I do. With everyone. And just once I thought I could be on the inside. Just once I wanted to be the one you left messages about. Not because it was Love, but because I was a good friend. I'm not looking for love. I have that. What I want, what I need is a friend. Someone I can talk to about anything without them judging me. Someone who I know inside and out, and who knows me the same. Something platonic. But you're not that person. I see that. And I'm sad. Cause there are so many things I still want to tell you, but love is beginning to blind you in ways I cannot change. There are things I want to say, but I know that I will lose you if I do. And maybe I'm too selfish for that. You will learn in time. I know that. And I will still love you. Even if you fall. That is what friends are for, right? I will be there to help you clean up what is left at the end of this party. I will always be there. All you need to do is call. This is a promise I make you right now. One that will hold until I am dead. I hope that you remember it. And use it well. My friend.