Monday, September 15, 2003: Patriotism

The following is an american view of canada. Probably the most Fair and objective piece i have ever seen. I am posting it so that others may see this and learn from it. because the "land of the free" isn't quite so, but the GREAT WHITE NORTH definitely IS free. we wouldn't have put tommy chong in jail. And you can't be sued for Downloading here..... cause our ISP's can't give out that kind of info. fie on you US. fie on you.


An American perspective on Canada .... By Samantha Bennett Source:
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music
or throws raucous parties. He doesn't gossip over the fence, just smiles
politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house
is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn't always lock his front
door.

He wears Dockers. You hardly know he's there. And then one day you
discover that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace
marches and that guy you've seen mowing the yard is his spouse. Allow me
to introduce Canada.

The Canadians are so quiet that you may have forgotten they're up there,
but they've been busy doing some surprising things. It's like discovering
that the mice you are dimly aware of in your attic have been building an
espresso machine. Did you realize, for example, that our reliable little
tag-along brother never joined the Coalition of the Willing? Canada
wasn't willing, as it turns out, to join the fun in Iraq. I can only
assume American diner menus weren't angrily changed to include "freedom
bacon," because nobody here eats the stuff anyway.

And then there's the wild drug situation: Canadian doctors are authorized
to dispense medical marijuana. Parliament is considering legislation that
would not exactly legalize marijuana possession, as you may have heard,
but would reduce the penalty for possession of under 15 grams to a fine,
like a speeding ticket. This is to allow law enforcement to concentrate
resources on traffickers; if your garden is full of wasps, it's smarter
to go for the nest rather than trying to swat every individual bug. Or,
in the United States, bong.

Now, here's the part that I, as an American, can't understand. These poor
benighted pinkos are doing everything wrong. They have a drug problem:

Marijuana offences have doubled since 1991. And Canada has strict gun
control laws, which means that the criminals must all be heavily armed,
the law-abiding civilians helpless and the government on the verge of a
massive confiscation campaign. (The laws have been in place since the
'70s, but I'm sure the government will get around to the confiscation
eventually.) They don't even have a death penalty!

And yet .. nationally, overall crime in Canada has been declining since
1991. Violent crimes fell 13 percent in 2002. Of course, there are still
crimes committed with guns -- brought in from the United States, which
has become the major illegal weapons supplier for all of North America--
but my theory is that the surge in pot-smoking has rendered most
criminals too relaxed to commit violent crimes. They're probably more
focused on shoplifting boxes of Ho-Hos from convenience stores.

And then there's the most reckless move of all: Just last month, Canada
decided to allow and recognize same-sex marriages. Merciful moose, what
can they be thinking? Will there be married Mounties (they always get
their man!)? Dudley Do-Right was sweet on Nell, not Mel! We must be the
only ones who really care about families. Not enough to make sure they
all have health insurance, of course, but more than those libertines up
north.

This sort of behavior is a clear and present danger to all our
stereotypes about Canada. It's supposed to be a cold, wholesome country
of polite, beer-drinking hockey players, not founded by freedom-fighters
in a bloody revolution but quietly assembled by loyalists and royalists
more interested in order and good government than liberty and
independence. But if we are the rugged individualists, why do we spend so
much of our time trying to get everyone to march in lockstep? And if
Canadians are so reserved and moderate, why are they so progressive about
letting people do what they want to?

Canadians are, as a nation, less religious than we are, according to
polls. As a result, Canada's government isn't influenced by large,
well-organized religious groups and thus has more in common with those of
Scandinavia than those of the United States, or, say, Iran. Canada signed
the Kyoto global warming treaty, lets 19-year-olds drink, has more of its
population living in urban areas and accepts more immigrants per capita
than the United States. These are all things we've been told will wreck
our society. But I guess Canadians are different, because theirs seems
oddly sound.

Like teenagers, we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really demand
that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seem more adult -- more
secure. They aren't afraid of foreigners. They aren't afraid of
homosexuality. Most of all, they're not afraid of each other. I wonder if
America will ever be that cool.

Source: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (PA) Author: Samantha Bennett Published:
Wednesday, July 30, 2003 Copyright: 2003 PG Publishing