The Truth About Bears

My good friend Bear asked me what I think is wrong with David Boreanaz. As an actor, nothing, he is a good one. I am constantly amused by the method in which he plays his current character, Agent Seeley Booth(a name which has been stolen and added to my "possible names list"), who tends to be funny in a quirky sort of way. It's the man himself I'm too fond of. If you take him apart, he suits the name David, the man is nothing short of a god, with a hard, rippling body that shows barely any trace of fat, a strong jaw and nose, twinkly eyes that crinkle when he smiles, a widely set mouth, an a lush full head of hair. Sounds like a dream, doesn't he? Well, now lets look at him as a whole! The body, still rad, Bear's got me there. The strong jaw and nose? Well my friends, they seem to be disproportionate to the rest of his head/face. Almost as though he needs a stronger jaw, to compete with a large forehead and bulbous head. His ears are too small for his head. His nose could actually be a bit smaller as well. His eyes are deeply sunk, which in some cases can be alluring, but considered with his mouth, is not. Ahhh his mouth. It's a wide and beautiful mouth, which should be lush and kissable, but it is not. When using his very emotive mouth, he can create a very sexy look, but at rest, it is very oddly shaped. Interestingly, his mouth is similar to my husband's, it's all about the way it points up at the sides. Very alluring when properly proportioned, but alas, in order to go up, one must go down, and David's lips have their downturn just a little to close to the middle which when mingled with the fact that at the crest of his upper lip it almost disappears makes his upper lip seem to melting down on the the lower one. This also makes it look like he might be a bad kisser. Also, and I hate to bring it up because it adds fuel to my sister's fire, but what is with his teeth? I think they are rounded, which makes his mouth seem odder sometimes when he opens his mouth. Putting him all together gives him a look that is the reason he is famous, he looks like a lycanthrope.(or a vampire) As a vampire or werewolf, he is hot, hot, wanna do him in the woods right now hot. This doesn't translate well to reality very well for me. As Agent Booth, he is funny, kind, sweet, caring, and even heroic. Just not hot. Maybe Ok. So there.