Ok I did it

I moved to Wordpress. Thank you, and goodnight.

Coronation Street, I love thee

So about nine months ago, Tony Gordon did something horrible to Maria Connor. Plainly, he had her husband killed, on the night that she was to tell him that she was finally pregnant. On the surface this seems terrible, horrible, wretched. The waters are muddy my friend. Liam Connor(the husband) was having an affair, and at the moment trying to convince his mistress to leave her fiance so that they could run away together(quite literally, through text message, to the woman who was actually WITH Maria at the time) Who is this mistress you say? None other than Ms. Carla Connor, engaged to Tony, widow of Liam's brother. This is all back story, the blog starts here:

Lately I am finding it hard to hate Tony. To begin with, he is a very handsome man. Secondly, he has fallen in love with Maria, and that makes him even more handsome. It's as though it's wiping out the horrible thing that he did. He is sweet, and kind, and sensitive, and for some reason I can't seem to remember to hate him. They give you glimpses of the terrible, controlling man that he really is, when he viciously dumps the hair shop girl(who's name I can never remember, she is new, and ditzy) and makes her slightly afraid of him in the process. I was reading about Alison King aka. Carla Gordon(formerly Connor, she married Tony eventually) a while back and it always sticks out in my mind that there are rumours that she will be back on the street, only to commit murder. Given the current storyline, I can't stop wondering, will it be Maria or Tony? Carla knows that Tony killed Liam, so it is most reasonable that it will be him that she offs. But there is also this nagging voice that it will be Maria, mostly because, after all, it is a soap opera and that is the most dramatic option. Carla will return in August of this year, after Alison Kings maternity leave ends. I don't know if I can wait another 2 months!!!! Ahhhhhh I love me some corrie.

Where the Hot

Just this morning, I lay in bed listening to the birds, feeling cold. I wondered, where is the hot? Given the cool rainy spring we have had, I surmised that any day now, we'd hit the vicious wall of sticky heat that is a summer in southern Ontario. I haven't been checking the weather lately, what with my frantic job search, except to see what the day will hold. Imagine my surprise when I checked the long term forecast this morning only to see this :



I can not wait for Wednesday, though I should know better, as the Weather Network hates me and always teases my like that.

Whoozat now?

There is a crazy lady that lives in my building who likes to tell me that everything is going to be Ok. I wonder, does she do this for my benefit, or her own? Often she tells me she went to the school and sorted it out. Now, this woman is blonde, about my height, and of the same shaped face(round). Sometimes I think that she seems someone else when she looks at me, possibly a daughter or neice, and that she has done something for them in the past, and relives it when she sees me. I find her to be fascinating.

Ouch

Staff meeting tonight. Whmis training. Boo. Three years open. So they gave us champagne, now my head hurts. Screw you sentences.

Early Shift

This week I have to be at work at 6.45am. Sadly it means no walking, as I must use the car, for I do not wish to have to abandon my nice warm bed, at 5 am! 7.30 shift next week.... maybe walking.... maybe.....

Walking Tour

I have had the opportunity to walk to(and then from) work twice this week. I really enjoyed it, so much actually that I have told Josh that this summer I want to be the one who takes the bus when it is necessary. He doesn't like it when I walk to work, as I walk along a busy street, and he worries for me. I think that my two adventures this week may have convinced him to not worry so much when I choose to walk. I hope to be doing a lot more walking in the coming months, and I will be bringing my camera(poopie as it is) with me!

Re: Camping

Camping was fun, but way too cold. Came home after only one night :( Pictures on FB.

Le Camping

We are finally going camping this weekend. All it took was Josh's friend basically tricking him in to going, but we are off to Balsam Lake early Saturday morning! I am so pumped, as I have not been camping since Josh and I started dating. I really hope that he enjoys it, because I have purchased camping gear now and I plan on using it many times!!!!!! We are now the proud owners of camp dishes and cups(minimizing garbage!!!!), a Coleman air mattress and a beautiful new grill that I will be able to use on our balcony once we return! I really hope we have a good time, I may even bring the hammock!!!! *does the excited dance*

Bad - Acting or Editing

The dead body by the water on Fringe tuesday night blinked. IT BLINKED! Gay.

The Truth About Bears

My good friend Bear asked me what I think is wrong with David Boreanaz. As an actor, nothing, he is a good one. I am constantly amused by the method in which he plays his current character, Agent Seeley Booth(a name which has been stolen and added to my "possible names list"), who tends to be funny in a quirky sort of way. It's the man himself I'm too fond of. If you take him apart, he suits the name David, the man is nothing short of a god, with a hard, rippling body that shows barely any trace of fat, a strong jaw and nose, twinkly eyes that crinkle when he smiles, a widely set mouth, an a lush full head of hair. Sounds like a dream, doesn't he? Well, now lets look at him as a whole! The body, still rad, Bear's got me there. The strong jaw and nose? Well my friends, they seem to be disproportionate to the rest of his head/face. Almost as though he needs a stronger jaw, to compete with a large forehead and bulbous head. His ears are too small for his head. His nose could actually be a bit smaller as well. His eyes are deeply sunk, which in some cases can be alluring, but considered with his mouth, is not. Ahhh his mouth. It's a wide and beautiful mouth, which should be lush and kissable, but it is not. When using his very emotive mouth, he can create a very sexy look, but at rest, it is very oddly shaped. Interestingly, his mouth is similar to my husband's, it's all about the way it points up at the sides. Very alluring when properly proportioned, but alas, in order to go up, one must go down, and David's lips have their downturn just a little to close to the middle which when mingled with the fact that at the crest of his upper lip it almost disappears makes his upper lip seem to melting down on the the lower one. This also makes it look like he might be a bad kisser. Also, and I hate to bring it up because it adds fuel to my sister's fire, but what is with his teeth? I think they are rounded, which makes his mouth seem odder sometimes when he opens his mouth. Putting him all together gives him a look that is the reason he is famous, he looks like a lycanthrope.(or a vampire) As a vampire or werewolf, he is hot, hot, wanna do him in the woods right now hot. This doesn't translate well to reality very well for me. As Agent Booth, he is funny, kind, sweet, caring, and even heroic. Just not hot. Maybe Ok. So there.

Good Morning

It is 5. I've been up since 4.30 pondering this: Sleep or Bones?





I so sad. Such big loser.

Hmmmmm

Josh's shift at work has changed and now he works ten hours a day, four days a week. He starts Sunday, and his last day is Wednesday. This means that two days a week, while I am at work, josh is at home. It seems he may be bored. I have become much enamoured with the way that he behaves when I get home from work. After being cooped up all day, he is full of energy, and tends to want to wrestle with me for a good hour. I miss this Josh. It's the Josh that isn't bogged down by the horrible working conditions of a tech support agent. It's the Josh I met and fell in love with. I think that I need to get a job that pays about 80k a year so that I can have a house husband. I'd be pretty thin, it's a hard workout fighting off a 6 foot 260lbs man!

Bones

I never watched the show Bones, mostly because I watched Buffy and Angel and had oreviously concluded that David Boreanaz is really not the best actor. Recently, during a week long flu virus, i started watching it. I am now completely obsessed. I watch several episodes each day, and have caught up to the third season in the last two weeks. One of my favourite things that I like about the show is Dr. Zack Addy, a quirky, odd fellow who groans/moans when he disapproves of what is being discussed. You almost can't hear it when he does it, but it makes me giggle every time. I think a lot of why I like this show is the simple fact that every character is sort of weird. I like weird.

Blog-o-what?

I am obsessed with blogs. I can't get enough. I believe that it feeds my deeply seeded need for voyeurism and this is why I hunger for more blogging. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at concentrating on one task, and therefore read only about 10 different blogs. The bloggers do not write enough for me, and instead of doing the normal thing(read: finding MORE blogs to read) I do the abnormal(read: get mad at non-blogging bloggers and scream obscenities at my screen) Seriously. What the hell is wrong with me?

<3

I am sorry. I love you, I really do, but I can't seem to put words to keys lately. I will try harder. I promise.

Bugs

For some reason, one that I can not explain, I can not stand it when I hear a man say "Mr. So-and-so is my FATHER, Call me Joe" Ugh, even typing it out made me shudder a little. I wish I knew why it bugs me, but I really can't figure it out.

Lost Things

It's not that easy to find people on FB. I have been looking. I have a small obession with someone who left my life a very very long time ago (about 29 years, thats right after I was concieved if you were wondering) and have been looking lately, more out of an obcene need to be let down than anything, knowing what I know about said person. Alas, with a surname like Douglas, it is nearly impossible, and I am getting frustrated. I get on this kick once every ten years or so. I start wondering what parts of me are there that I don't understand simply because I have never met the person who gave them to me. What parts of me are truely unique and not just shadows of my dna providers. Who am I really? I would be one of those parents who wouldn't be telling my kid they were adopted until they were old enough to process just what that meant. I knew too young that my father didn't want me, and I believe that a lot of my personal issues stem from a general feeling of unwantedness. Would I have been more of a risk taker, if I hadn't been hurt so early in life? Would I be less shy? Would I be less giving? Would I be less of a door mat, just so that you will like me, please god like me, WHY DOESN'T ANYONE LIKE ME?!?!?!?! Seriously, where is the free counselling baby, I'm in NEED!

Awesome-less

The awesome-ness of other people blogs/writing style makes me jealous. I wish I didn't suck so badly.

If you're bored, then you're boring

It makes me giggle when my cat cleans his underside. Mostly he rolls back on his bum and does some freaky yoga move, with his legs stretched out in front of him, sometimes hovering over the couch. This, as stated, tickles me.

Loose what? Lost is what!

(Ed. don't know how, but this got lost. Here it is, for your reading pleasure, only about two weeks later!)

Ends, my dears. I am at loose ends. Change can't happen fast enough. I knew that the process of job hunting, in today economic climate, would be a long, arduous journey of the most depressing nature. I just didn't realize it would hit so quickly. I have no qualifications. I am a teacher of preschoolers. I have been for my entire adult life. I am no longer interested in the field, in fact, I am quite bothered by it, which causes no end of stress though out my day. Unfortunately, due to my loyalty to the field, I am not qualified to do anything else. The next job I get will be a fluke, a serious stroke of luck, or an incredibly astute person who can see that I will be good at what I do, no matter what that is. It's going to take some time, time which I don't want to have to waste in the hell hole I am in. Le Sigh.

In other news, tomorrow is my labour board hearing against my former boss. I am hoping to come home with a cheque, or the promise of one, and then I can put this behind me. I've been really stressed this week about seeing her again, but hopefully this will be a civil and quick meeting, with results in my favour! (Bad results, she screwed me by using the law in her favour. Fortunately, it looks like she will get audited, which is much MUCH worse for her than the measly sum she owed me!)

Squawking.

Marley squawks. She is doing it right now. Josh has the late shift this month, so he isn't getting up at the same time as me(which hasn't happenend in a long long time) and Marley is disturbed. She doesn't like her Mummy. She wants her Daddy to get up. Up yours Marley.

In other news, my boss found out that I want to get a new job, and has been doing everything she can to get me to stay. I may be changing positions to a French floater, which means that I get to go to all the classrooms and teach French. That would be nice I suppose. Still waiting for the Girl Guides to call. Man, I really want that job!!!!

Trapped

It's just how I feel at the moment. Where are you new job opportunity?!?!?! Failing that; Where are you Lotto Winnings?!?!?! I'm this close to hari kari.

Poo *TMI ALERT!*

My status message on FB yesterday was something to the effect of changing diapers for a living makes you obsessed with poo(as well as very open about it). Something unrelated is preventing me from sleeping this morning(more on that after it's resolution) and I slowly came to a realization: I have always been obsessed with poo. I thought that it was my job. I think I was wrong. I wonder if there is something wrong with me...... See, here it is; as a child I would paint with my doodies, simply removing my diaper and digging in. I had many a wall to wash up in my youth. As we(read: me and my siblings) got older, we did something that may have been even worse, we fed our dukes to the dog(OMG OMG OMG I can NOT believe I did that!). Eventually my obsession subsided in to charting (in my head) all the different types of deuces that I dropped. Had I ever had an eating disorder, I'd guarantee that it'd be the poop weighing kind. When I got IBS, things got worse for me. The symptoms, and subsequent search for it, made my obsession grow. At one point there was a collection process that I will not describe here! I am now completely unable to drop some kiddies off with out checking them before flushing. Not grabbing them out of there or anything, just looking, making sure everything is a-ok! I think I may have a serious problem. I have to stop with the diapers!

Terrorism

There was an unscheduled vacuuming. Marley was terrorized, please refer to exhibits a-c for evidence.

Exhibit A



Exhibit B



Exhibit C


Definitely an unhappy kitty. Poor Marley-tron! POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR GIIIRRRRRRRL!

The Rocker

So I have just watched the movie The Rocker. It is hilarious. I wish I could say more, but this may help you understand:

Curtis: So.. I had no idea real life was so boring
Fish: And soul crushing, don't forget soul crushing
Curtis: That's a nice suit
Fish: *heaves a sigh*I am going to kill you

Watch it. Do it.

Note: Watch the cafeteria scene quoted above for cameos by my former fellow QEP student, Mark Forward and also Chuck's Vik Sahay

Cat; for free, to a good home!

This is Mar.

My little Marley and I have a love/hate relationship. See... Marley thinks she owns the place, and being a dog person, I have found that hard to handle. Mar used to yell at me to feed her, until I stopped feeding her while she did that. Mar will cry at the bedroom door, not because she is hungry, but because she believes we have slept long enough and should come out and pay attention to her. This is especially prevalent on weekends, when she knows we are awake, and staying home that day. Mar simply demands attention. She gets up on your lap, and will knead you until you pet her. Eventually, you always pet her, even if it is a slight brush just to get her off your lap. To Mar, any attention is good attention. I have been having trouble sleeping lately, so Mar and I have spent a lot of time on the couch together; her kneading me interminably while I try to get some sleep. This morning I refused to pet her. She purred and kneaded, and purred and kneaded, and purred and kneaded. I swear the only thing that protected me from her claws was the thick comforter that I had over me. That's my Marley you see, she kneads you until she claws you, because she knows clawing draws attention! Finally I could take no more(she was kneading my boob you see, and I feared a claw would pierce that blanket, and then my sensitive parts) and I kicked her off the couch. She then proceeded(and continues to do so as I type this) to try to wake her Daddy up. He loves her more than I do, and my little princess knows he will give her all the love she wants! God I hate that cat.

Remember when....

Some of you(two of the three who read this) must remember when I was supervisor. I remember being miserable. I hated my job. I hated the people I worked with. I hated being out of the classroom. I hated how I was supposed to be able to make decisions, but was never allowed to carry them out. I hated the impotence of the word Supervisor. I am now faced with a decision. The position of supervisor has become available at my new place of employment. I have been asked (separately) by two staff members if I was going to try to get that job. I have said before at work that I would be better than what they have now, but a wet towel would be of more use than what they have now, so that isn't saying much. It may be akin to Obama following Bush. On the other side of things, I am 29. I was 27 last time. I have had two jobs since then, which have taught me a lot. I have grow up a lot in the last two years as well, in my thinking, and behaviour. There is the possibility that I could be better. That I can do this, and was simply following bad advice though naivete. I am completely torn. I have no clue whether or not I want this. I do not love my job anymore. I dislike most of the people I work with, and for. When the second owner returns, we will not get along. It will look good on my resume that I was promoted again, proving that I AM capable, and may truly have been wrongfully terminated(which I am sure many interviewers have heard over and over as an excuse for being fired). A raise would help in the mortgage department. In the end, everything seems to even out. Neither the pros or the cons outweigh each other, and I am left completely confused about what it is that I should be doing. This perturbs me. I dislike feeling this unrest, this lack of course. I have been looking for a job. I would like a position in administration; that is basically what being supervisor is. I know not what to do. I am not at ease.

PHOTO POST!

I rarely do this, as my photo capabilites are limited by my crappy camera, but I melted some candles in two bottles of wine from my wedding, and I quite like the results. Here you are, from start to finish!












I hope to melt many more candles in them, because I have this thing.... about fire..... and melting shit......

A Year Older

I turned 29 yesterday. To celebrate we went to Medieval Times!!! I was very excited because I had never been before. The food was very tasty, as was the entertainment. I had a really great time, though I wouldn't suggest anyone go at full price. They are having a buy one, get one free deal at the moment, through the end of February, and at 65$ for two people, it is well worth the price.

Conundrum

I hate where I work; childcare facilities in general, as well as specifically where I am now, as it draws stupid lazy people and this is a large source of frustration for me. One reason for this is that I have a strong work ethic, and do not believe in being lazy at my job. I am being paid, therefore they should receive my best every day. If I can not give my best, I stay home. Another is the very simple fact that we are teachers. We are teaching the next generation of children to be productive members of society. It is not the place to be lazy. My conundrum is this; do I find a job elsewhere, in another field, abandoning the children I have been teaching, as well as all the others to this fetid pool of laziness? Or do I try to take the supervisors position away from the useless woman who is barely able to perform in the position at the moment? I have it on good authority that I may well have a chance at the position. On one hand, it would look great on my resume that two schools in a row promoted me to supervisor. On the other, I failed once at this job. Am I really ready to do it again? In a place that is so obviously falling apart, at that. It would be great if I could turn the school around, but I have never been a leader. From kindergarten to 0ac, I was the kick around kid. Now I am timid in the face of confrontation, or at times, far too aggressive. I do not know how to influence people in a positive manner, as any time I have tried I've been met with anger, and even hatred. Again, though, I wonder if that is a byproduct of the profession. Are the stupid, lazy people just angry with me because they are smart enough to know they are stupid and lazy? Do I sound like a complete asshole yet?

My Husband.

I love my husband. Here is one reason why; at 6 am, when he is still mostly asleep, he checks me out as I leave the bed, and I get a most satisfying MMmmm from him. Now THAT is someone who is good for my ego!

Sparkly

I made some changes. I was told that my background was loud, and may be putting people off. It's probably true, but I am also a loud person, which explains why I went to the trouble of putting that image(which I found while randomly clicking images one day) up as a background and changing my blog to match it. That being said, after having pondered it for a while, I have come to the realization that I may have commited one of those newbie blunders(which is sad as I've had this blog for five years). I may have well as added a bunch of these, and maybe a header with some of this foolishness. I apologize to any eyes I may have offended, and I hope my more sedate look doesn't give you seizures. :D

Thank you, that is all.

Lonely Ego

My ego is lonely. This is what my sitemeter tells me. I wonder.... do I really get NO traffic, or have I done this site metering thing wrong? Also, if I get no traffic.... does that really bother me? I'll get back to you.

Grym-atron

My cat snores. Currently he is sitting on his daddy's chair, snoring his little brains out, making his mummy very, very jealous. How I wish to be snoring at this moment.

2009, first!

So, my first post of 2009. I applied for my marriage certificate yesterday, but I am worried that it will not arrive in time to renew my drivers license and OHIP card.... I was really hoping to not have to pay extra one month after renewing both, just to have my name changed. I suppose it's not a big deal, but it is a lot of time, time which could be spent with my munkey! In other news, the supervisor at my work has come back from Mat-leave. I was really hoping that she would be a great leader, and that things would stop falling apart upon her return. It seems I was mistaken. She has begun harrassing my friend, L, with nonsense and chaff, even writing her up for an infraction another staff gets away with almost daily. They want to get rid of L(for calling the labour board on them), so it seems like New Sup. is going to be the bully for the owner, who spends her days at the school smoking with staff, gossiping, and making my life hard(her 2 year old son is in my class) When will it be that I will have a real job, with a real boss, and real tasks that are not undermined daily. Le. Sigh.