April 7, 2003

I know. big gap. i just wanted somewhere to keep my life in order. Please feel free to email me or msg me on yahoo if you like or hate what i wrote up there. thats what a teenager thinks..... about life... love.... friends. I long time has been spent pondering the countless thought and ideas that i had. and all i can remember is what was. and what i miss. I'm tired. and sad. I wish that everyone would see me for who i am and like that Amanda. why do i have to put on a show everyday. I pretend to be who i am not so people will accept me. Who am I? I don't even remember. This is my dilemma. what do I see when I look at me? Someone who wants everyone to be happy. A nice person. A good friend. So why am i alone. Why do i have not one person in my whole life that i can tell everything to? Why am I left alone to think and to worry and to cry. I cry.