Friday, October 19, 2007

Ever get something stuck in your head, that no matter what you do, you can't make it stop rolling around inside your cranium like marbles on the floor of a bus? What do you do? I can't stop thinking about someone I used to know. I wrote a note about it on FB, and it is still bothering me. The catharsis of writing it down has never failed me before now. There seems to be no way to get over what I feel is an immense loss. Every so often, I suddenly remember him, and what being around him was like. It causes me to doubt my decision. That is a serious issue for me. I hate to doubt myself. I have never been brimming with self-esteem, and to have these nagging questions looming over me causes my fragile ego to melt away like a small cube of sugar in the rain. I'm all similes today.

I stood in the rain today. There was not enough for puddle jumping. I could use a good bout of puddle jumping. I wish it would snow. I could use some snow-play too. Snowmen, and angels, and snowballs, and jumping in to snowbanks and barrelling down the hill on my board, completely out of control, since I am a total amateur at snowboarding. Still, it's like driving really fast with the wind in your hair, and that's all I'm really seeking when I take up these kinds of sports.

I am taking my Nana out for her birthday this weekend. That should be interesting. My Munkey hasn't seen her more than 3 times in 9 years, so she is very happy that he is coming. Aside from that, my weekend will be consumed by boredom relieved only by sleep. Huzzah for the weekend!!!!!!