Friday, August 03, 2007 : My Other Brother

There is something I wish that I could share with you. It is something that everyone has, and no one else understands. Sometimes it's a blanket; sometimes it's a beer. For me it's a man who sings with such feeling that it brings me to life. His words are a raft, that which I cling to in the murky, rolling waters of life. When I am sad, he makes me happy. When I am joyful, his songs are the gilding on the moment. When I need him he is always there. When I hear him, the whole world fades away, and I am able to face my fears, grasp what I love and hold to it. It is an honest relationship, one where I am free to express myself without worry of disappointment. It is half-hearted at times, and most definitely one sided, but this is the kind of relationship I am used to. He is my brother, a rock on which I can lean if I need to. Not a brother of blood, but one of time, knowledge and contribution. No one has been able to sum up what I am thinking and feeling with such gratifying accuracy, not even my own eloquent self. The plucking of the same string, the words that sting my eyes and my heart. No other artist shares as much of them self, and maybe that is part of my love for him. To have fallen from grace, practically upon the stage, and to come out of it making music that is so beautiful is by far the best testament to the kind of being that this man is. When I am listening to him, I understand that my problems are minimal, and that eventually they will pass, like the clouds that darken my window. If everyone had this one thing, this tiny glimmer in every hopeless moment, this exuberant love for something, then art would again be serving its true purpose. It is fear, and loathing, and an ache as deep as the bones of the earth. It is peace, and love and happiness in the face of destruction. It is the tie that binds. He was there the night my love left me. He was there the day that I missed my best friend, and they told me he had died. He was there when I was so lost I thought I should join him. He was there the day I learned that what I had thought was true was no more than another flimsy excuse. He was there when I lost my sister, and still there when I found her again. He was there when I thought no one else was. Sharing his pain, his love, and his own life. I have always said, and will never stop saying that without him, I would have been gone long ago. Thank you, for keeping me around. This life is worth it, no matter how I might feel at one point or another.