Saturday, April 05, 2003 : Mandys Life Part four(1997)

part 4 (1997) : I find people fascinating, even if they are dumb. Despite all my qualms about public transit, I kind of find it useful. I like sitting on the bus, and looking down into peoples cars. It's strange what people will do in the safety of their cars. They cry, they put on make up, they sing, they yell at their dashboards while beating their steering wheels senseless. They talk to non existent people, and they curse at existent ones. The only thing they don't do is think. I find driving to be a good thinking time. I've thought up my best statements while driving. Everyone is so busy now. Hustling here and there on there lunch hour because everything seems to close at four thirty. There could be so many poetic people out there, but they are all so caught up in the real world. I'd personally rather stay here in my little cocoon, because it's safe. I'm never hurting, I'm never alone. Well, not really. We could be standing in a room full of people, and still be alone. So I am alone, I just never feel the consequences. I never let anyone in, cause in the past it's always been a mistake. What I've learned is love is best left alone. I've been so long from it, I've forgotten how it goes. I think I need someone to teach me. I had someone once, but he went away. I can't take that. I need some one to teach me to let go. I need some one to be there to make me let go, but not someone who thinks I need them. It's funny how in a certain light we all look the same. All in all we are. Bones, then organs and muscles, and skin. We are all the same in a sense. We all think about the same things, just in different ways. I think that God is just the human races way of justifying disasters, and death. Other people think God is our salvation, but it's all in the end. I think the creation of God will kill us all, and others think that Armageddon will come. I don't know.