Friday, August 29, 2003: I keep losing them

It makes me sad to think of all those beautiful words lost to the void, but I'll just think that they have been sent to someone special. I wonder if everyone has something like this, something that makes them truly happy no matter whats actually going on. I've been listening again for 3 days, and I'm addicted once more. It's like a drug that doesn't call to you when you don't think about it, but if it's around it's all your mind sees, hears, feels. I feel happy. I want to smile until my face cracks. I want to dance around and give you squishy hugs until your eyes pop out. I'm un-freaking-believable happy. I dunno why. must be the song. Nothin will go wrong, nothin will be bad, for the world is complete, with you. I want to drive, just drive, for hours on end, to no where in particular, just drive for the hell of it. I need a convertible. 2 AM, 24 degrees, top down, no clouds, full moon. God, that would be heaven. Mebbe that WILL be my heaven. "Just made us jumpy when we shoulda been smooth" I laugh when i shouldn't, but why shouldn't I? Who says when it's appropriate to laugh. I laughed on your grave. you loved it
you asked me too. So when is it my time, when do i see you again? Cause i have things to do, and I'm not really ready for that. I'm scared actually. I don't ever want that. I miss you, but not enough i guess. I suppose thats the last, the straw if it were. I'm tired of you talkin to me, I'm trying to sleep.